How To Deal With Stress, Anxiety And Depression.
You'll hear many times that single events can trigger a major episode of stress, depression and anxiety. The key word is "trigger", because that is all a single event is. It doesn't actually CAUSE stress, depression or anxiety but it does trigger a sequence of behaviors that lead to mental trauma. Let's look at how this happens and then you'll find a key stress management skill to show you how to deal with stress so events don't trigger them. These skills will also help people suffering from anxiety and depression too.
Descent into a stressful, depressive or anxious episode happens because of negative and catastrophic reactions to events you are confronted with. One event by itself simply isn't enough. There are many chain-reactions that take place before a person becomes highly stressed or depressed or anxious, but I'm going to discuss one of the biggest ones: using one event to ascribe catastrophic meanings to all areas of your life - I call it "generalizing" and being aware of how generalising works is crucial if you want to know how to deal with stress.
Let's take a look at two events that most, if not all humans, will experience during their lifetime:
1. Loss of a job.
2. Death of a loved one.
Loss of a job is a major event that can trigger stress and lead to further problems especially depression and anxiety. Please understand, the job loss itself cannot cause these problems, but it can trigger a number of reactions, especially generalization and here's how it works:
You lose your job and you start to think in general terms:
"Oh no, this is disastrous! How will I deal with the stress? What will people think of me when I tell them? My job meant the whole world to me, now my world is falling apart. I'm nothing without my job! How will I pay the bills? I won't be able to get another job and life will become a real struggle. Everything is going wrong and I'll never be happy again!"
Now, this reaction is typical of how a stress, anxiety and depression can be triggered by one event. Powerful words - disastrous, nothing, struggle, everything, never - will stir fearful emotions within you. Self-esteem is being hit, doubt about your abilities is raised, and a catastrophic prediction of the future is made. The job has also been used to ascribe meaning to your whole life and now it's gone, a feeling that your life has no meaning is also present.
A similar reaction will happen when you lose a loved one:
"I'm devastated! He/She was my whole world, and now my world has fallen apart. Nothing will ever be the same again, I'll never be happy and I feel empty inside. Life holds nothing for me anymore and I don't know how I'll cope without him/her. "
Can you see the generalizations? Again, we have powerful, negative and emotionally charged phrases to ascribe meaning: whole world, fallen apart, nothing, never, anymore. And a catastrophic prediction for the future is present again. You can see that being aware of these types of highly emotive generalisations means you'll know how to deal with stress so effectively that trying events will not lead to mental trauma.
In both examples, one event has been carried into all areas of your life. With a job loss, enormous importance has been placed on the job itself and now the job has gone, these general meanings cause you serious distress. It's the same with losing a loved one. Meanings about your whole life have been placed on one person and their passing means your whole life is affected.
In generalizing like this, descent into mental trauma is inevitable and it happens to lots of people largely because they don't know how to deal with stress effectively. You now know what's happening and it will help you enormously.
To show you how to deal with stress even more effectively, here's an example using the key skill of keeping perspective. This skill is crucial.
When you are confronted by a traumatic event, you keep perspective by separating the traumatic event from other areas of your life. For example, if the event is job loss, you react without generalizing:
"OK, I've lost my job, but my job is just a way to earn income. It doesn't mean I won't find a better job nor does it mean that things will change for the worst. My social and home life will still remain the same and I'll carry on with my life just as I've always done. One chapter in my working life has ended and a new one is about to begin."
Do you see the difference in how keeping perspective and not using powerful, emotionally charged words and phrases will prevent fearful emotions arising? Add this to the skill of avoiding generalisations and you'll know how to deal with stress no matter what event you are faced with.
Please remember that no change is permanent as nothing lasts forever. Things will come into your life and things will move out of your life. It is the cycle of life. Keeping perspective and avoiding generalizing are very important skills and they will help you deal with stress, anxiety and depression more effectively by stopping events from triggering them.
You'll hear many times that single events can trigger a major episode of stress, depression and anxiety. The key word is "trigger", because that is all a single event is. It doesn't actually CAUSE stress, depression or anxiety but it does trigger a sequence of behaviors that lead to mental trauma. Let's look at how this happens and then you'll find a key stress management skill to show you how to deal with stress so events don't trigger them. These skills will also help people suffering from anxiety and depression too.
Descent into a stressful, depressive or anxious episode happens because of negative and catastrophic reactions to events you are confronted with. One event by itself simply isn't enough. There are many chain-reactions that take place before a person becomes highly stressed or depressed or anxious, but I'm going to discuss one of the biggest ones: using one event to ascribe catastrophic meanings to all areas of your life - I call it "generalizing" and being aware of how generalising works is crucial if you want to know how to deal with stress.
Let's take a look at two events that most, if not all humans, will experience during their lifetime:
1. Loss of a job.
2. Death of a loved one.
Loss of a job is a major event that can trigger stress and lead to further problems especially depression and anxiety. Please understand, the job loss itself cannot cause these problems, but it can trigger a number of reactions, especially generalization and here's how it works:
You lose your job and you start to think in general terms:
"Oh no, this is disastrous! How will I deal with the stress? What will people think of me when I tell them? My job meant the whole world to me, now my world is falling apart. I'm nothing without my job! How will I pay the bills? I won't be able to get another job and life will become a real struggle. Everything is going wrong and I'll never be happy again!"
Now, this reaction is typical of how a stress, anxiety and depression can be triggered by one event. Powerful words - disastrous, nothing, struggle, everything, never - will stir fearful emotions within you. Self-esteem is being hit, doubt about your abilities is raised, and a catastrophic prediction of the future is made. The job has also been used to ascribe meaning to your whole life and now it's gone, a feeling that your life has no meaning is also present.
A similar reaction will happen when you lose a loved one:
"I'm devastated! He/She was my whole world, and now my world has fallen apart. Nothing will ever be the same again, I'll never be happy and I feel empty inside. Life holds nothing for me anymore and I don't know how I'll cope without him/her. "
Can you see the generalizations? Again, we have powerful, negative and emotionally charged phrases to ascribe meaning: whole world, fallen apart, nothing, never, anymore. And a catastrophic prediction for the future is present again. You can see that being aware of these types of highly emotive generalisations means you'll know how to deal with stress so effectively that trying events will not lead to mental trauma.
In both examples, one event has been carried into all areas of your life. With a job loss, enormous importance has been placed on the job itself and now the job has gone, these general meanings cause you serious distress. It's the same with losing a loved one. Meanings about your whole life have been placed on one person and their passing means your whole life is affected.
In generalizing like this, descent into mental trauma is inevitable and it happens to lots of people largely because they don't know how to deal with stress effectively. You now know what's happening and it will help you enormously.
To show you how to deal with stress even more effectively, here's an example using the key skill of keeping perspective. This skill is crucial.
When you are confronted by a traumatic event, you keep perspective by separating the traumatic event from other areas of your life. For example, if the event is job loss, you react without generalizing:
"OK, I've lost my job, but my job is just a way to earn income. It doesn't mean I won't find a better job nor does it mean that things will change for the worst. My social and home life will still remain the same and I'll carry on with my life just as I've always done. One chapter in my working life has ended and a new one is about to begin."
Do you see the difference in how keeping perspective and not using powerful, emotionally charged words and phrases will prevent fearful emotions arising? Add this to the skill of avoiding generalisations and you'll know how to deal with stress no matter what event you are faced with.
Please remember that no change is permanent as nothing lasts forever. Things will come into your life and things will move out of your life. It is the cycle of life. Keeping perspective and avoiding generalizing are very important skills and they will help you deal with stress, anxiety and depression more effectively by stopping events from triggering them.
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